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« Bankruptcy for Christians Facing Financial Meltdown? | Home | Teaser from The Litigation Trap: Chapter 1 of The Believer’s Guide to Legal Issues »

Will She or Won’t She? The Prenuptial Blues

By Stephen Bloom | May 11, 2009

Topics: Features |

One Response to “Will She or Won’t She? The Prenuptial Blues”

1. Gretchen Says:
   April 24th, 2010 at 8:56 am

   Hi Stephen,

   I am a 52 year old female who was left by my husband after 27 years of marriage 5 years ago. I had put him through college in our younger years and was blessed to be a stay at home mom and a very involved person in our church and community. We moved 3 times and I placed my professional career on the back burner in order to “be there” for our sons and my husband. My ex was head elder of our church. He got a co-worker pregnant and announced one day that he was leaving and was gone that same day. The devastation was mind blowing.

   Our divorce settlement afforded me the blessing to not have to work (my ex was CEO of a large company and we had large investments), but rather, to continue doing ministry for the church and my family and my community. I live comfortably and am a good steward of what God has entrusted me with. My one son is disabled and I was able to afford a condo for him to live in so that he can maintain his independence with attendant care. I am blessed to be able to provide this for my son.

   Now I am engaged to an amazing Christian man. The state we live in is a no fault state. If we were to divorce, I would lose 50% of my investments and it would cause me to have to go back to work full time and leave my volunteer ministry’s. Plus I would not be able to support my disabled son and visit him as often as I desire.

   I truly believe that our pre-nup ensures that “money” is out of the equation completely in our marriage. My husband would not gain any of my monies if we were to divorce and I would be able to maintain my ability to freely serve my family and church. We would simply maintain what monies we had when we entered into marriage.

   Plus, if the circumstance arose where my husband was sued by someone, they could not touch my monies that would be protected in the pre-nup. This protects what we are planning to live on, tithe from and serve with.

   Also, if my husband would need extensive medical assistance in later years, my monies are an added bonus to help provide that care to him, not showing up on financial records of his.

   This pre-nup shows me that he truly is not interested in my money and it is his desire to have this prior to our marriage.

   We know of one other Christian couple who are in a similar situation where the woman came into the marriage with more monies than the man. They signed a pre-nup and basically don’t even think about it! The woman feels a sense of relief and security knowing that she is financially secure if anything would happen.

   We tried to search the Christian websites to gain knowledge about pre-nups but only found negative comments about them.

   Do you see our situation? My fiance’ and I look forward to serving God together, and in fact he will be able to drop down to work only 4 days a week so that we can go on mission trips in the field that we sense God calling us to.

   We sense nothing but peace in our pre-nup and drew it up with a Christian attorney who prayed with us as we entered into the process.

   Thank you for reading our unique circumstances. However, I bet there are many more out there that we think. I pray that women are not guilted into believing that having a pre-nup is not being a good steward of what God has entrusted her with.

   With all sincerity and gratefulness,

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